If the pandemic made anything simpler, it was the decision to keep children – or indeed anyone – home when they were sick. No longer are we expected to ‘soldier on’, and no one questions whether it’s the right decision to keep someone home when they have a temperature or sore throat. But what about a child who is mentally exhausted or suffering stress from continual academic expectations?
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Linda Williams is a Senior Psychologist with more than 10 years’ experience working in mental health services, and the Clinical Lead at youth mental health service ReachOut. “Adolescence is a time when many young people will experience mental health difficulties for the first time,” she explained. “More than one in three young people in Australia is currently experiencing a mental health difficulty.”
Just like physical illness, mental health issues can affect anyone at any time, and be chronic or acute. It’s important to recognise, and make children understand, that our mental health is just as important as our physical health and requires the same level of care and compassion.
“It is really important that we acknowledge that mental health days are just as important for young people as they can be for adults,” Williams said. “A mental health day will look different for everyone depending on what they need to support their wellbeing in that moment. In many cases, it could include a mix of seeking treatment (from a GP or a mental health professional), rest and self-care.
“It can be useful to parents and carers to discuss the plans for the day at the start of the day with their young person to set those expectations. In some cases, teachers might also support this process.”
Benefits of a mental health day
Taking a day out to focus on mental health can have myriad benefits to a student who is struggling, from reduced absenteeism to enhanced focus. Recognising the benefits of a mental health day and being proactive in granting them, can sometimes prevent more serious issues from developing, and teach the student the value of managing their mental health and building resilience.
On a larger scale, being more open and accepting of mental health days can reduce the stigma around asking for help and normalise the idea of mental health being as important as physical health.
When should kids have a mental health day?
A distinction must be made between a genuine need to rest and replenish one’s mental health and ‘chucking a sickie.’ Similarly, the growing tendency to take time off school for family holidays, or a day off to spend with family can muddy the waters of the true mental health day.
Educator and consultant, Linda Stade said “Chucking a sickie is when you just want a day off, and we all want that every now and again! However, from an educational perspective, it is self-evident that consistent attendance at school makes a difference to learning and wellbeing outcomes. When a child is able, they should be at school.
“There has been a recent trend to take kids out of school to have special parent-child time. This is often called a ‘mental health day’ but that devalues the needs of kids who are genuinely having mental health issues. I think they should be called ‘bonding days’ as they are often about building connection by playing hooky from school and work together,” Stade said.
“Mental health days have a bad rap and can be associated with slacking off or taking a day off when you aren’t unwell,” Williams added. “However, when we recognise that our mental health is as important as physical health, we begin to understand that looking after ourselves and our young people includes when we aren’t in a good place when it comes to our mental health.”
Signs a student might need to take a mental health day could include resistance or adverse behaviours, an increase in complaints of stomach or headaches, friendship issues, withdrawal, declining grades or performance anxiety. Similarly, difficulties at home, such as a death in the family, divorce or separation can also be a trigger for poor mental health.
Different children will show different signs when struggling and may need a variety of supports. Some may be rejuvenated adequately from a single day to focus on their mental health, others may require more intensive intervention and help from a professional.
The role of schools
While it is the responsibility of parents and families to make decisions regarding their children, there are certain ways teachers and schools can provide support.
“Each school will have a different process when it comes to managing days off school for their students,” explained Williams. “Importantly, in some cases the young person may not want to disclose a mental health difficulty to the school. Processes which provide options and support students’ privacy are always the strongest.
“In addition to an open dialogue between schools and families, we know it can be really helpful when schools are proactive about letting young people know how to seek support for their mental health. It then makes it easier for students to know where to turn for support if they need it.”
It’s important to remember that educators must also practise self-care when working with students who are struggling with their mental health. Ensuring there is adequate training for staff, as well as administrative and peer support is essential in supporting staff to support students.
Williams suggested teachers ensure they are informed. “There are also resources for teachers on how to build their knowledge and understanding about mental health issues and how they can support their students.”
What mental health days are not
A mental health day is not simply an opportunity to spend the day sleeping or binge-watching television, but a chance to focus on the child’s wellness and the specific issues that are causing concern.
It’s also important that mental health days are not used as a means to avoid stressful situations at school.
Stade said: “When a child is struggling with academic or social issues at school, it can be so tempting for parents to keep them home where things are easier, and they can wrap their kids up in love. It’s understandable, but not necessarily the best approach.
“School may be the best place for them as it is where they can be offered specialised support and connection. School is where they can access their pastoral and academic staff and the support of their peers.”
Marisa Trio is a school psychologist with more than twenty years of experience in primary and secondary settings. She cautioned that while it is tempting to allow children to stay home to avoid a stressful situation, sometimes this can actually do more harm than good.
“As adults, we understand that when it comes to anxiety, the only way out is through. It’s not always as simple as removing an obstacle. Most of us would fall into the category of preferring to avoid things we feel uneasy about. But the problem is that taking refuge in the safety of the home environment reinforces in the brain, the idea that ‘school equals threat and home equals safety’. The more time that is spent away from the perceived threat, the harder it is to go back”.
Trio added that if you get the sense that something is more than just a one-off, then someone needs to sit down with the student and find out the underlying issues.
