Categories: NewsEducation

Too much praise means students may struggle to cope with failure.

<p>In recent years&comma; there has been <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;carlsonschool&period;umn&period;edu&sol;sites&sol;carlsonschool&period;umn&period;edu&sol;files&sol;faculty&sol;publications&sol;baumeister&lowbar;vohs&lowbar;2018&lowbar;perspectives&lowbar;self-pspi&lowbar;redux&period;pdf">a concerted effort<&sol;a> to protect children from failure in order to safeguard their fragile self-esteem&period; This seems logical – failure is unpleasant&period; It tends to make you look bad&comma; you have negative feelings of disappointment and frustration&comma; and you often have to start again&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>While this is logical&comma; it actually has the opposite effect&period; Children and adolescents <a href&equals;"http&colon;&sol;&sol;www&period;abc&period;net&period;au&sol;news&sol;2018-06-26&sol;fixed-vs-growth-mindset-at-work-and-in-life&sol;9897782">in Australia<&sol;a>appear <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;www&period;missionaustralia&period;com&period;au&sol;news-blog&sol;news-media&sol;mission-australia-releases-annual-report-2017">less able to cope<&sol;a> than ever before&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>The problem is&comma; in our efforts to protect children&comma; we take valuable opportunities for learning away from them&period; Failure provides benefits that <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;www&period;psychologytoday&period;com&sol;us&sol;blog&sol;the-human-beast&sol;201302&sol;the-benefits-failure">cannot be gained any other way<&sol;a>&period; Failure is a gift disguised as a bad experience&period; Failure is not the absence of success&comma; but the experience of failure on the way to success&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&nbsp&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2>The gift of coping<&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p>When we fail&comma; we experience negative emotions such as disappointment or frustration&period; When children are protected from these feelings <a href&equals;"http&colon;&sol;&sol;www&period;centreforconfidence&period;co&period;uk&sol;docs&sol;EI-SEAL&lowbar;September&lowbar;2007&period;pdf">they can believe<&sol;a> they are powerless and have no control over mastery&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>The answer is not to avoid failure&comma; but to learn how to cope with small failures&period; These low-level challenges have been called &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;<a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;onlinelibrary&period;wiley&period;com&sol;doi&sol;full&sol;10&period;1111&sol;j&period;1469-7610&period;2012&period;02615&period;x">steeling events<&sol;a>”&period; Protecting children from these events is more likely to increase their vulnerability than promote resilience&period; When adults remove failure so children do not have to experience it&comma; they become more vulnerable to future experiences of failure&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure class&equals;"align-center "><span class&equals;"caption">Small failures can help your child become more resilient&comma; if handled properly&period;<&sol;span> <span class&equals;"attribution"><span class&equals;"source">from www&period;shutterstock&period;com<&sol;span><&sol;span><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<h2>The gift of understanding natural consequences<&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p>One of the greatest gifts failure brings is we learn natural consequences to our decisions&period; It’s a very simple concept developed by <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;owlcation&period;com&sol;social-sciences&sol;Cognitive-Development-in-Children-from-Watson-to-Kohlberg">early behaviourists<&sol;a>&colon; &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;when I do X&comma; Y happens”&period; If I don’t study&comma; I will fail&semi; if I don’t practice&comma; I may lose my spot on the team&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Allowing children to experience these outcomes teaches them the power of their decisions&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>When parents and teachers derail this process by protecting children from failure&comma; they also stand in the way of natural consequences&period; <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;link&period;springer&period;com&sol;article&sol;10&period;1007&sol;s10826-013-9716-3">Studies show<&sol;a> children who are protected from failure are more depressed and less satisfied with life in adulthood&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2>The gift of learning<&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p>Mistakes are <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;research&period;acer&period;edu&period;au&sol;cgi&sol;viewcontent&period;cgi&quest;article&equals;1207&amp&semi;context&equals;research&lowbar;conference">the essence of learning<&sol;a>&period; As we have new experiences and develop competence&comma; it’s inevitable we make mistakes&period; If failure is held as a sign of incompetence and something that should be avoided &lpar;rather than a normal thing&rpar;&comma; children will start to avoid the challenges <a href&equals;"http&colon;&sol;&sol;journals&period;sagepub&period;com&sol;doi&sol;abs&sol;10&period;1177&sol;0956797613514251">necessary for learning<&sol;a>&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Failure is only a gift if students see it as an opportunity rather than a threat&period; This depends on their mindset&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure>&NewLine;<div class&equals;"fluidvids"> <&sol;div>&NewLine;<&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p>Children with a growth mindset believe intelligence is malleable and can be changed with effort&period; Those with a fixed mindset believe they were born with a certain level of intelligence&period; So&comma; failure is a signal for growth mindset children to try harder or differently&comma; but a sign they aren’t smart enough for children with a fixed mindset&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2>Praise should be focused on effort<&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p>Praise can be used to compensate and help children feel valuable in the face of failure&period; We see this when children get a participation ribbon in a running race for coming in last&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>But <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;www&period;researchgate&period;net&sol;publication&sol;235667882&lowbar;On&lowbar;Feeding&lowbar;Those&lowbar;Hungry&lowbar;for&lowbar;Praise&lowbar;Person&lowbar;Praise&lowbar;Backfires&lowbar;in&lowbar;Children&lowbar;With&lowbar;Low&lowbar;Self-Esteem">research<&sol;a> indicates&comma; paradoxically&comma; this inflated praise has the opposite effect&period; In the study&comma; when parents gave inflated praise &lpar;&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;incredibly” good work&rpar; and person-focused praise &lpar;such as &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;you’re beautiful”&comma; &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;you’re smart” or &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;you’re special”&rpar;&comma; children’s self-esteem decreased&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Praise that is person-focused <a href&equals;"http&colon;&sol;&sol;www&period;cs4all&period;org&sol;files&sol;1831922&period;pdf">results in<&sol;a> children avoiding failure and challenging tasks to maintain acceptance and self-worth&period; This is because praise is conditional on &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;who they are” rather than <a href&equals;"http&colon;&sol;&sol;mereworth&period;kent&period;sch&period;uk&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;04&sol;growth&lowbar;mindsets&lowbar;dweck-praise-effort&period;pdf">their efforts<&sol;a>&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Praise for effort sounds like &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;you worked really hard”&period; This is better because children can control how hard they work&comma; but they can’t control how smart or special they are&period; Children need to be free to learn without there being a risk to their sense of worth&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2>Tips for parents<&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p>So how do we do this well&quest; Here are some tips to help parents support their children&colon;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Protecting your child from failure isn’t actually helpful&period; Allow them to feel and live it&comma; and let them have the gifts failure brings&period; Experiencing failure will make them more resilient and more likely to succeed in the future&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;

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