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What is Toxic Positivity and How to Avoid It

‘A good teacher is like a candle that consumes itself to light the way for others.’

<p>This quote has been attributed both to an Italian poet as well as a Turkish statesman&comma; and while at first pass&comma; it seems like an honourable sentiment&comma; perhaps we need to take another look&period; What it’s really saying is that in order to illuminate the path for their students&comma; a good teacher must consume their own resources and energy&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>And we all know what happens to a candle that burns too long&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h4><strong>What is toxic positivity&quest;<&sol;strong><&sol;h4>&NewLine;<p>Toxic positivity is the pressure to display only positive emotions and maintain a positive mindset regardless of the situation&period; It is more than simply being optimistic&period; It is an extreme response that doesn’t allow for difficult or negative emotions &&num;8211&semi; even if you find yourself in a difficult or negative situation&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>In the school environment&comma; toxic positivity might be visible by colleagues boasting about late nights marking papers&comma; responding to a promotion being knocked back with &OpenCurlyQuote;it’s all for the best’&comma; claiming that they’re &OpenCurlyQuote;fine’ when it is clear they are struggling or being told &OpenCurlyQuote;back in my day we had it much worse’ when you point out something that is lacking&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Toxic positivity not only attempts to silence negative emotions&comma; but it negates them altogether&period; This can lead to feeling guilt and shame as well&comma; like a three-car pile-up of negative emotions&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>It’s more common and pervasive than you think – consider the phrases &OpenCurlyQuote;good vibes only’&comma; &OpenCurlyQuote;every cloud has a silver lining’&comma; &OpenCurlyQuote;glass half full’&comma; &OpenCurlyQuote;everything happens for a reason’ and &OpenCurlyQuote;look on the bright side&period;’ On their own&comma; they’re peppy and motivating – but if they’re the only thing you’re hearing&comma; it can be oppressive and harmful&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h4><strong>Why is toxic positivity harmful&quest;<&sol;strong><&sol;h4>&NewLine;<p>While there is nothing inherently wrong with being told &OpenCurlyQuote;You have so much to be grateful for’ or to &OpenCurlyQuote;look on the bright side’&comma; if that’s the response you’ve been given after telling someone you missed out on a placement you’d really been hoping for&comma; what’s really happening is that your feelings are being invalidated&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>In a work environment&comma; if you find you are constantly monitoring your own feelings and reactions in order to present as positive and cheerful&comma; you may be experiencing – and perpetuating – toxic positivity&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Some of the harmful effects of dismissing negative emotions can be&colon;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<ul>&NewLine;<li>Undermining empathy by dismissing other people’s difficulties<&sol;li>&NewLine;<li>Ignoring the underlying problems by ignoring negative feelings<&sol;li>&NewLine;<li>Increasing mental anguish and stress by constantly having to present a positive façade<&sol;li>&NewLine;<li>Feeling isolated<&sol;li>&NewLine;<li>Superficial relationships because no one feels they can respond authentically&period;<&sol;li>&NewLine;<&sol;ul>&NewLine;<p>When teachers feel pressure to conform to a workplace that prides itself on its positivity&comma; it can have a knock-on effect on students&period; Learning in an environment where everything has a &OpenCurlyQuote;positive side’ can discourage open and authentic discussion&comma; impacting on academic performance and potentially denying students the opportunity to open up about negative feelings and experiences that are impacting them&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h4><strong>How to avoid toxic positivity<&sol;strong><&sol;h4>&NewLine;<p>The best way to avoid toxic positivity in a school is to ensure that the workplace culture acknowledges that negative emotions are not only normal&comma; but acceptable&period; If you want genuine connections between staff&comma; never enforce a &OpenCurlyQuote;positive vibes only’ rule&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>If someone wishes to share a negative feeling&comma; don’t try to downplay it or try to help them see the &OpenCurlyQuote;positive’ in their situation&period; If you can’t help&comma; just listen&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Remember&comma; admitting that there is not a &OpenCurlyQuote;silver lining’ to every situation doesn’t mean you still can’t find solutions or ways to improve&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<blockquote>&NewLine;<p><strong>Avoiding toxic positivity is about embracing authenticity&period; By allowing people to share their real feelings without fear of having their mental state questioned or dismissed&comma; a school can be a healthier and more resilient community&comma; free from the &OpenCurlyQuote;bright side’ of toxic positivity&period;<&sol;strong><&sol;p>&NewLine;<&sol;blockquote>&NewLine;

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Shannon Meyerkort

Shannon Meyerkort is a freelance writer and the author of "Brilliant Minds: 30 Dyslexic Heroes Who Changed our World", now available in all good bookstores.

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